I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
