I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
