Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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