just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
