This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
