Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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