he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
