I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
