Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
