I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
