And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
