giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
