White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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