Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
