Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The Olympian is in my bed
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
