I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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