i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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