I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
