your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
How external is "for external use only"?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
