well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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