There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
