college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
