I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
