He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
