I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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