ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
