I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
