I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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