it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We named our party play list daddy issues
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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