oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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