Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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