is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
