if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
