she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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