So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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