I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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