I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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