making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
