that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
