I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
