Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
