More tranny stories later!
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
