I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
