whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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