Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
