So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
