I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize