All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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