The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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