just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
