Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
