You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
