Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
