where am i from again
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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