He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
