I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
